Seeking His Strength

In high school I was so busy; overwhelmed by meetings, homework, and sports practice. I thought "When I get to college, life will be less busy".

Wrong.

I have been so busy recently. I feel like it's high school all over again. Although I am not involved in a million extracurricular activities (I may have exaggerated a bit), I am busier than ever. Just balancing school and work is a struggle, and I feel like I don't have a social life. It's sometimes stressful, but I am never bored.

But even through the chaos, God is there.


Seek the LORD and his strength;
seek his presence continually!
           -1 Chronicles 16:11

I was reminded of God's goodness this week. He is always with me and will NEVER leave me. It's so comforting to know this! I really don't know what He is doing with my life, but my prayer is that it will glorify Him. From time to time, I struggle with remembering to read my Bible everyday, but for a while now, it has been a necessity for me. I NEED my time with God. Especially with how long my days have been, I look forward to my time with God, whether it's early morning, mid-afternoon, or night-it is greatly needed. Scripture has encouraged me; giving me strength and a heart and mind set on Him. Whether I am in my car for a couple of minutes, the library for an hour, or at home for the rest of the night, I always have my Bible with me. It's in my purses (obviously it's my small ESV-the ESV study Bible is a honker!) and is close to me.

I have been reading through John over the past month, and am nearing the end, and I found this verse last night and it reminded me of how God strengthens us:


I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.
-John 15:5-8


Life is not going to slow down or get easier, but God only gets better. His Word is rich to us and His love is never ending. As we seek Him, we find our ultimate fulfillment in Him, and there is no greater strength. I know next semester isn't going to be easier, it's definitely going to be more chaotic. But God has a purpose for next semester, and every day for the rest of my life. He's going to do something amazing in your life so don't worry! Cling to Him through trials and tribulations and let Him be your strength.

With Blessings,

 Heather

This is Home

Over the past 18 years of my life, Fargo has always been considered my home. I have always loved Fargo. A lot of people hate it and I can't understand why. It's beautiful, just the right size, and it's home. When I decided to go to college outside of Fargo (gasp!), I knew it wasn't going to be an easy transition. Leaving was difficult, especially after being at camp for the entire summer, but I was excited. When I arrived at Northwestern, it felt like home. As the weeks went by, everything felt perfect. I knew this was where I was meant to be. Everything was in place and I was happy-very happy.

But then something happened. God told me this wasn't where He wanted me for the next four years. It was a difficult time for me to listen to Him and go where He was calling me. That place was Fargo.

Since I love Fargo so much, you would think it was an easy transition, but that is incorrect. Coming back to Fargo was hard. It was nice to be back, but I didn't feel like I was home. Living in the place I called home for 18 years and not feeling like it was home-weirdest feeling ever.

These last four months have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I don't go a day without thinking about Northwestern. MSUM has been okay. It's definitely not Northwestern. Most of the time I do not like that I am going to MSUM, but I am working on giving it a fair chance.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go and visit my friends at Northwestern. As the trip got closer, my excitement grew. I could not wait. As we arrived on campus I was so happy. Here I was. The last time I left Northwestern I had tears strolling down my cheeks and was in a very difficult situation, but now I was here and it was a happy occasion. It did feel different though. I felt like a guest. Friends were paying for my meals, I didn't has a room key, and I wasn't attending classes. It was weird and a little overwhelming, but I am glad I experience it.

Throughout this trip I learned a lot. I realized MSUM is my home. Northwestern is not. That's REALLY hard to say too. Northwestern was my home for a semester, but now MSUM is. I have never experienced that feeling. I have had a love/hate relationship with MSUM up to this trip, and now I feel like I can move on. This was the piece I needed to move on and accept where I am.

God knows exactly where we are supposed to be. Every little detail of our lives is in His control. I sometimes forget that and start to freak out. God may not always reveal His purpose to us; we sometimes have to wait. It's all in His timing and control. God has placed me at MSUM for many reasons, some I already know, others I do not. It's not up to me to try to figure it out either. He has blessed me so much in my time here and I know it will only get better.

I may not know what God has planned for me tomorrow, next month, or even next year, but I know who I follow: a God who will never leave me, always loves me, and works everything for my good. Thank you Lord.

With Blessings,
              Heather

The Bachelor: Searching for Love in the Wrong Places

Part of me is ashamed/embarrassed to admit this, but I watch the show "The Bachelor" on ABC.  Although I do want to make it VERY clear that I DO NOT agree with the show and what it portrays. It makes me so sad knowing these women are willing to sacrifice their careers and lives for a guy who probably won't be worth it. Honestly, that is showing little self-respect. I understand they are trying to find "true love", but I don't think surrounding yourself with 20 other jealous women will help you fall in love.  It creates unwanted pressure, stress, and a lot of cat fights.

These women are so in love with falling in love that they are willing to lay everything aside-including their self respect. They need a wake up call. The guy you are "dating" (and I use that word lightly) is also dating many other women. How are you okay with that? Hello?!! That's called cheating. I don't care if it's a show; all the intentions, temptation, and proof is there to consider and qualify this as cheating.  America is so sick and twisted. I don't get it.

Like I mentioned earlier, I do enjoy watching this show because it is interesting to watch one guy "try" (but will never be successful in) understand 20 women.  A guy cannot even understand ONE woman, let  alone 20. I find myself laughing at many parts of this show at the ignorance and selfishness of the chosen guy.  But of course, this guy can do whatever he wants with these girls, but it's not considered wrong or hurtful because it's television. He can go skinny dipping with one of the girls and that's seen as okay. No, it's not. That is so disrespectful to the other women and shows the desperation in each of their "love lives".

With all this said, I know I would never ever go on a show like this.  It completely crashes with my beliefs and morals as a follower of Christ.  I don't need a fancy TV show to find love, because I've already found it. God is all the love I need.  And if He has a guy out there for me, He will bring him to me-I won't need to search for him.  These girls on this show our looking for this "ultimate longing"; something they've been searching for their entire life.  But in all reality, they are not going to find it.  No guy will ever completely satisfy you, only the love of Christ can.


With Blessings,
       Heather

Confessions of a Cookie Supremacist

Cookie Supremacists. Yep, that's me. Well, according to my friend Chrissy ;) I might as well tell you the story: At Northwestern, they have thee best cookies in the Billy. At the coffee shop, they have these ginormous double chocolate chip cookies and they are to die for.  After I fell in love with these cookies, it became a daily ritual to check and see if they had these cookies. Sometimes they did, but most of the time they did not.  Chrissy suggested I get a different kind of cookie, and I said no.  She then proceeded to call me a "Cookie Supremacist" for the remainder of the semester.  And I definitely would not argue with her. We always ate lunch together, and of course, there I am discussing my cookie of the day. Either it would be a really good cookie, or it was not up to par. The end :)

So all of this ties into baking. I have been using the same recipe for years now, but I'm not satisfied with it. So I decided to do some searching on Pinterest and google, and found a recipe that claimed to be chewy and delicious.  I made these cookies last night, but of course, being the "Cookie Supremacist" I am, I did not approve.  They were soft after baking, but the taste was missing. There was no "pow"and  they were too plain. I would rate them a 6 out of 10. So here I am again, searching for that cookie that will satisfy my taste buds. I'm hoping to find it soon, but until then, I will keep on searching and trying different recipes.

So if you have any recipes that you love, pass them on! I love trying new recipes and I'm sure my friends and family won't mind "testing" them for me.

With Blessings,

Heather

Sacred Singleness: Finding Ultimate Fulfillment in Him

Over Christmas break, I purchased a book called "Sacred Singleness" by Leslie Ludy. For all my friends out there-GO BUY IT NOW! I have read a lot of books, and I can honestly say this book is one of the few that has impacted me in such a big way.  God has really used this book to change my life-literally. Throughout this book Ludy discusses the struggles and joys many people face with singleness-and how God uses them to fall more in love with Him.  She also includes many personal examples, stories of single women, and Scripture to show God's purpose behind singleness.

In the beginning of the book, Ludy challenges the reader: "If you never got married, would He be enough?" This question really challenged me, and I began to search my heart for my desires and where God ranked among them. It was hard to admit, but my answer to that question at the time was "No". I then began a process of giving God all my desires-marriage, family, etc-and not expecting anything in return. Was it hard? So very. But looking back on it, was it worth it? Oh yes.

"He wanted me to lay down my 'right' to be married, walk down the aisle in a white dress, and live in a cute house with a white picket fence.  He was asking me to let Him be everything to me, to satisfy my every need, longing, and desire in my heart-even if an earthly prince never came my way.  It was the greatest challenge I have every faced.  Could I really let go of my precious dreams? Could I really lay my lifelong fairy-tale desires at the foot of His cross?  What if He never gave them back?  Would He really be enough to fulfill the desires of my heart, even if I never got married?"

          

                                -Sacred Singleness (Page 15)

One of my deepest desires is to get married and have children, and it has been ever since I can remember. Now that I am getting older and closer to the age of marriage, those desires have only grown. Giving God those dreams and desires was something I have wanted to do for years, and when I finally did, I found my true contentment and joy in my one and true Romancer. I felt so joyful, happy, and content. It has been a new beginning in my relationship with Him, and I felt so much security in Him-not myself. 

I have no idea if God has someone out there for me, but I do know if He does, this guy cannot give me the ultimate fulfillment and happiness-only Jesus Christ can.  This book has taught me a lot about fully depending on God and not even my husband someday. My future husband will make mistakes, say hurtful things, and not always understand me, but God will never disappoint or hurt me-I can only rely on Him.

"Singleness is an incredible opportunity to be fully consecrated in body and spirit to Jesus Christ alone--to be undistracted by any other romance and free to be consumed with Him.  And, as mentioned earlier, this is not only an amazing opportunity four our single years, but it is the absolute best way we could ever prepare for marriage.  When Jesus Christ is our all in all, we will never place unhealthy pressure upon our spouse to meet the needs only He can fill.  And if our husband is ever taken from us, we will no lose our confidence, hope, or security because it's in Jesus Christ".

                     

                                      -Page 48

My "season of singleness" could last a couple of months, years, or my entire lifetime, but I am not going to let the lies of Satan fill my head with negative thoughts.  I am not going to sit around waiting for my prince to come, because He already has.  And if God has someone for me, His love story for me will beautifully unfold before me.  So God, here are my single years. They are YOURS. Use this time in my life to pull me closer to You, serve Your kingdom, and share Your love with others.

With Blessings,

             Heather 

Steal, Kill, Destroy-John 10:10

This morning I felt something I have never experienced before. I felt like Satan was attacking me. I know Satan is real and working, but I guess this was the first time I actually felt him trying to get to me. Lately, a lot has been going on in my life, some big things, some small, but a lot has been bad. It wasn't til this morning when another bad thing happened that I realized Satan is truly trying to "destroy" me. It was the last straw for me, and it made me so upset. In John 10:10 it says:

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so you may have life and have it abundantly"

Satan is fighting against God. He wants our faith in God to turn in unfaithfulness. He wants our struggles to pull us away from God, not closer. Steal, kill, destroy-those are some pretty heavy words. The thief, being Satan, wants to steal our happiness and joy in Him, but I'm not going to let him. John 10:10 was the theme verse for Sr. High Camp this last summer, and when I felt like Satan was trying to get to me, I quoted this Scripture. In Matthew 4, when Jesus was tempted by Satan, He quoted Scripture to Satan. Like it says in Ephesians, put on the armor of God.

"Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication" -6:13-18a

If Satan really wants to fight, I will fight. I have a powerful and mighty God. I have Scripture. Satan may be powerful, but God has even MORE power. This morning was scary-just knowing Satan was attacking me and not letting it get to me-it was difficult. Throughout the day I continually read my Bible and quoted Scripture in my head; I set my eyes on Him and kept them there.

With Blessings,

     Heather

Missing Out

These past two weeks have not been easy. Getting adjusted to my new school and working 22 hours a week has been a challenge, but I am slowly transitioning. Most days I feel like I have no energy whatsoever; I have reached my limit. On top of that, I have been missing Northwestern so much. Tonight as I was laying in my bed, I looked at my wall full of 30 pictures-all from NWC, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my cheeks. All of the pictures are full of fun memories, and honestly, I really miss those days. Being in Fargo hasn't been necessarily bad, but it hasn't been the best either. I have enjoyed reconnecting with old friends and spending time here, but I miss the times at NWC. Lately I have been asking God to show me His purpose; why did He send me here and why am I missing out on Northwestern? My first semester was amazing-so many blessed friendships, fun adventures, and growth in God. I lived on a BEAUTIFUL campus on a breath taking lake, yet had a huge city at my fingertips.

Thus says the LORD,

your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:

“I am the LORD your God,

who teaches you to profit,

who leads you in the way you should go.

-Isaiah 48:17 

Then the Levites, Jeshua, Kadmiel, Bani, Hashabneiah, Sherebiah, Hodiah, Shebaniah, and Pethahiah, said, “Stand up and bless the LORD your God from everlasting to everlasting. Blessed be your glorious name, which is exalted above all blessing and praise.

-Nehemiah 9:5

I don't know about you, but I do not like missing out on things. And part of me knows I am missing out on Northwestern for the next three years, and that is one reason making this transition difficult. I had so many adventures during my first semester and if I would of still been at NWC, I could of had so many more. I miss so many things about Northwestern-the people, community, campus, chapel, profs, dorms, green hall, hanging in the stud, the island, Lake Johanna, Faith Baptist Church, the Billy, and so much more. It's really hard knowing I traded all of that in for what I have now-MSUM. I don't hate MSUM, but it's just a school to me-nothing more. To me, Northwestern was so much more than a school, it was a place I called home, and I believe that's why I miss it so much. I wish I could be at NWC right now, but God has different plans, and I let Him make the decisions around here.

With Blessings,

             Heather