Rejoicing in Singleness

What does Valentine’s Day mean to me? Well let me tell you...

It’s not some day where I feel sad, depressed, or angry because I’m single, rather, it’s a day where I spend a little more time thinking and praying about my future husband. Every day, I pray for my future husband. God has really given me a desire to pray for my future husband, even though I do not know who he is. At about age 16, I started feeling the urge to pray and write to my future husband and marriage, and since then, I have spent time every day praying just for him. Through praying, I have felt this connection to my future husband. That may sound confusing or weird, but I seriously feel that. It’s like I know him but I don’t at the same time. It’s overwhelming to know that I am praying for someone I haven’t met, yet I care so much about him. 

I am thankful for this time that the Lord has given me to focus on Him. I know during this time I am able to grow in my relationship with Him without any other distractions. I also see this time as a time of growth. The Lord is working in my life and shaping me into the person He desires me to become. The more I grow in my single season, the more positives I bring into my future relationship/marriage. It’s really cool to look at it in that way. I know God is changing me to be the person my future husband needs.

I am filled with the joy of Christ knowing His ways are prevailing in my life. He is doing something incredible in my heart and life, and it’s something that will benefit my future marriage. I know in God’s timing He will bring my future husband into my life. Until then, I get to experience this time with the Lord where my passion and focus is on Him alone.

I am excited to see who God has for me to spend the rest of my life with, but until then, I must be patient. Some days are easier than others, but I know it will be worth it. Who knows how long my singleness season will last, but I know by praying for my future husband, I can already take a part in my future marriage. How beautiful is that?

With blessings,

Heather

Unconditional Love

These past two months have been a struggle. I have felt lost and far away from God. My desire to spend time with Him disappeared, and earlier this week, God convicted me of this. I have been literally trying to write this blog post for two months now. I sat down in front of my Macbook and started typing, but would find myself deleting sentence after sentence. I could not get the right words out, but it was the Lord teaching me something and He wasn’t quite finished.

I LOVE planning and organizing my life. Don’t ask why, but I enjoy that type of stuff. My day is always planned out-to do lists and all-and whenever I don’t have my “plan”, I feel lost. Another thing about me is that I always try to be prepared and think ahead. So it’s normal to say that I have been thinking about my summer plans. But that’s when things started to get frustrating.

This school year has opened many opportunities and decisions for me: stay in Fargo, work at camp, Summer Project, and so on. But with these opportunities came decision making-something I was not prepared for. Since summer is approaching (Hallelujah!), people have been asking me what my summer plans consist of. And for once in my life, I have no plan. Answering this question consisted of a simple shrug of my shoulders and a “I have absolutely no idea”.

As I prayed about summer, I didn’t hear God’s voice. I continued to pray and continued to hear nothing. I was to the point where I was frustrated with God. Why couldn’t I hear his voice? This led me to many nights full of tears and frustration. The idea of being patient and waiting was hard for me to do. I felt the pressure of deadlines approaching, and I became even more anxious as I waited for the Lord to answer.


But this is not what this blog is about. It’s about what the Lord taught me through this “quiet” time in my life.


The Lord has convicted me of what I have been doing-having a conditional relationship with Him. So what exactly is a conditional relationship? In my words, a conditional relationship is one in which both people expect something out of it. “If” is the key word. If you give me this, I will give you that in return. 

On the other hand, an unconditional relationship is one in which love is poured out to the other person no matter what. Right and wrongs do not count. Mistakes do not count. No matter what happens, you will always love the other person. No strings attached. With the Lord, this means no matter what He’s doing in my life, where he has placed me, or what He has taken away will not change my love for Him, it will only increase. At the end of the day, it is saying “Blessed be the name of the Lord”, no matter what is going on in life.

Since God obviously wasn’t giving me the answer to my question when I wanted, my relationship with Him was lacking. I didn’t desire Him-why? God doesn’t look at me and see my sinful ways or my lack of desire for Him and just walk away. No, He continues to seek and love me so much more than I can even begin to comprehend. Even when I reject Him, He continues to love me. God’s relationship with me isn’t conditional, it’s unconditional. So why should I be able to pull out the conditional card when the going gets tough?

My relationship with the Lord is not always an easy one. Every single day I fall short of God’s glory. It reminds me I’m not perfect. Throughout the different seasons in life, I find myself in an array of emotions. Some seasons I am so thankful for what the Lord is doing in my life and then there are the times where I don’t know what God is doing. I constantly give God conditional love while he gives me unconditional love in return. It’s beautiful and overwhelming how much God loves us. He does answer our prayers-just not in our timing. I guess a big part of life is figuring out how to take the focus off yourself and put your focus on Christ. But when we do this, we can find full satisfaction and joy in the One who showed us what unconditional love really means.

With Blessings,

         Heather