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Monday, February 17, 2014

What Most (Single) People Won't Admit

I'm going to be completely open and honest. I am not going to sugarcoat anything. Last week was not my favorite week for mainly one reason-Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong, I love celebrating with my kiddos and friends, but sometimes it can be a way for the enemy to attack you.

Being single can be great at times, but it can also be challenging. Yes, I am still young and have my whole life ahead of me, but at this part of my life, people are starting to plan. Plans for after graduation-including getting married. I don't want to put on this fake "I am happy to be single" act for those around me-somedays I am glad to not be in a relationship, but most days are not like that. I have reached this point in my life where I realize most of the people around me are either in a relationship, engaged, or married. I am happy for my friends, really. But here is the lie the enemy tells me: "You're not ___ enough". Fill in the blank. Any insecurity, fear, or thought, it has been in that sentence and it has ran through my mind.

So Valentine's Day is just one more reminder that I have not reached that stage in my life. Part of me is content, while the other part is asking God why I am single. I start to play the guessing game-am I not ready yet? What do they have that I don't? Is it because I'm not strong enough in my faith? Am I ever going to get married? These are all questions I have and things I struggle with from time to time.

Married people always say to enjoy your single years. My response to this is ignoring it. What are they to say about being single? They are married. They don't need to worry about finding their spouse. After facing a challenging situation, it is always easier to say it was worth it. I feel like it is the same with being single.

Like I said, no sugarcoating. This is really how I feel at times. Some days are better than others. I do not want you to think that I sit around all day thinking about this, because I really don't. My life is occupied with school, work, and a lot of other things. I have no idea how long my singleness will last-it could be a year, it could be a lifetime. All I can do is continue to know my Savior better and pray for my future husband and his relationship with Christ. I can also be praying for myself as a wife and that the Lord would prepare me and continue to grow fruits that I lack.

I truly look forward to the day God unites me with my husband. It will be worth the wait, the pain, and the prayers. It will be a new way to experience Christ and who He is, and I know it will be challenging, joyful, but most importantly, honoring to God.

With Blessings,

Heather