Over the past 18 years of my life, Fargo has always been considered my home. I have always loved Fargo. A lot of people hate it and I can't understand why. It's beautiful, just the right size, and it's home. When I decided to go to college outside of Fargo (gasp!), I knew it wasn't going to be an easy transition. Leaving was difficult, especially after being at camp for the entire summer, but I was excited. When I arrived at Northwestern, it felt like home. As the weeks went by, everything felt perfect. I knew this was where I was meant to be. Everything was in place and I was happy-very happy.
But then something happened. God told me this wasn't where He wanted me for the next four years. It was a difficult time for me to listen to Him and go where He was calling me. That place was Fargo.
Since I love Fargo so much, you would think it was an easy transition, but that is incorrect. Coming back to Fargo was hard. It was nice to be back, but I didn't feel like I was home. Living in the place I called home for 18 years and not feeling like it was home-weirdest feeling ever.
These last four months have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I don't go a day without thinking about Northwestern. MSUM has been okay. It's definitely not Northwestern. Most of the time I do not like that I am going to MSUM, but I am working on giving it a fair chance.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to go and visit my friends at Northwestern. As the trip got closer, my excitement grew. I could not wait. As we arrived on campus I was so happy. Here I was. The last time I left Northwestern I had tears strolling down my cheeks and was in a very difficult situation, but now I was here and it was a happy occasion. It did feel different though. I felt like a guest. Friends were paying for my meals, I didn't has a room key, and I wasn't attending classes. It was weird and a little overwhelming, but I am glad I experience it.
Throughout this trip I learned a lot. I realized MSUM is my home. Northwestern is not. That's REALLY hard to say too. Northwestern was my home for a semester, but now MSUM is. I have never experienced that feeling. I have had a love/hate relationship with MSUM up to this trip, and now I feel like I can move on. This was the piece I needed to move on and accept where I am.
God knows exactly where we are supposed to be. Every little detail of our lives is in His control. I sometimes forget that and start to freak out. God may not always reveal His purpose to us; we sometimes have to wait. It's all in His timing and control. God has placed me at MSUM for many reasons, some I already know, others I do not. It's not up to me to try to figure it out either. He has blessed me so much in my time here and I know it will only get better.
I may not know what God has planned for me tomorrow, next month, or even next year, but I know who I follow: a God who will never leave me, always loves me, and works everything for my good. Thank you Lord.
With Blessings,
Heather
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