I remember leaving for Northwestern. It was so exciting yet scary. I was embarking on this great adventure away from home, and I could not wait. Although things did not go as planned, Northwestern played a huge role in my life. I was SO blessed by this community of believers and brothers and sisters in Christ. Like I've mentioned in earlier posts, leaving Northwestern was the hardest decision ever. Well, it wasn't really a decision-something I knew I had to do.
Coming back to Fargo and going to MSUM has been a struggle. The beginning of the semester was difficult. Although I was at peace, it was still hard to accept. I found myself thinking of Northwestern every day, and that did not make it any better. I felt discouraged throughout the semester and constantly asked God to show me something good about my situation. Most of the time I felt left out. I didn't have this whole "college experience"-no dorms, on campus events, or close friendships-just living at home and being a commuter. At times I felt like I was "ripped off"-I wanted that college experience I had first semester, but I got a different kind of experience instead.
This year has been a reminder of how faithful God is. Through everything, I have seen God work in my life in many ways. I've learned I don't control my life. I thought I had the next four years of my life figured out, but I was completely wrong. Surrendering plans to God is not easy but is so worth it. And you're not always going to see the good in the situation. When I left Northwestern, I was completely exhausted and unhopeful. Everything was a blessing in disguise. Romans 8:28 has been a reminder of God's faithfulness in my life.
I've also learned how much I depend on God. I cannot do anything on my own. I will never be strong enough by myself. The months leading up to leaving Northwestern had me emotionally exhausted and I knew I couldn't do it. But God reminded me to seek Him and lean upon His strength during that time. The song "Strong Enough" by Matthew West has been my theme song this semester. Some days I would just put it on repeat, blast it in my car, and sing my lungs out to the Lord. It was my plea, my prayer, and my surrender. I am not strong enough Lord, but YOU are. Through this time in my life, I also gained a love for Scripture I never experienced before. I carried my Bible with me everywhere and found time to soak it in-whether in the library, my car, or in between classes. If I didn't have my time with God, I found myself stressed and in a bad mood.
I am overwhelmed by God's goodness. I have been so blessed this semester. God gave me a job at the YMCA working with 1st graders. My best friend is also in Fargo. Reconnecting with old friends. My practicum with Mrs. Rasmussen. Moving in with my best friend in June! Plus so many more wonderful things. My relationship with Him has become so real. I've experienced God in so many different ways this semester. Through all the tears, pain, and trials, I've learned who I truly rely on. The Lord is truly my strength. God has put me here for a reason. MSUM is my home. I absolutely love it now. It took time, but it's home. If God didn't put me through everything, I wouldn't be the same Heather. I would be the person afraid to surrender plans to God, follow Him, and learn to accept new things. But I am new. I am changed. And God is great. I can't even begin to comprehend everything that has happened this year, but I am happy to be where I am. I am blessed.
With Blessings,
Heather
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